– *FILLING THE VOID*
Today at “J.Quist” – we’ll be using the day-off to address some highly debated issues that have been surrounding the Yankee dugout for months now…
– *IS MELKY CABRERA CHUBBY?*
His speed says no, but his pudgy face cries yes… Despite being one of the best Yankee fielders on the team this year, New York fans just can’t seem to agree on Melky’s outward appearance. Is Cabrera a fast chunky player, or a fast player who appears chunky? We seem to be left with a paradox… How can a chunky guy be so quick, and how can a quick guy be so chunky? The world may never know…
We’re on to you Matsui! In one instance, we’ll see our boy Hideki laughing up a storm with Jeter and pals… In another instance, we’ll Matsui hit a walk-off homer – and use a translator to handle his post-game interviews… What’s wrong with this picture? I personally believe that Matsui is perfectly capable of speaking english, but chooses to save his speeches and fat jokes for the person he’s closest to…
If you research Ransom on Wikipedia, the results conclude that he was born in 1976… but Yankee fans beg to differ! It’s obvious that the Yankees organization is adding 20 years to Ransom’s life to give us the impression that he’s a wise individual. If you add the square root of 9 to the radius of a circle, it becomes completely evident that Cody is in fact – nothing more than a 12 year old boy who bombed his audition for High School Musical 4.
C’mon Francisco, you’re not fooling anyone either… Upon further research, Wikipedia suggests that Cervelli is nothing more than a 22 year old kid out of Venezuela. Do they really expect us to buy this bologna? I pain-stakingly contacted several of my Venezuelan colleagues, and suprise surprise – got the real scoop on Cervelli’s date of birth. It seems as though we’ve been lied to – and Francisco is in fact a 39 year old Canadian, who opted to play for the Yankees after missing the role of a possessed catcher in the never-released, “A League of Their Own 2.” Tom Hanks went on to say, “He was always sticking his tongue out, and his english was kind of hard to comprehend… In the end, the film-makers and I decided that it’d be best to just cough up the extra money and bring Geena Davis back.”
– *WHAT’S GOING ON TOMARROW?*
Andy Pettitte (8-6) vs. Roy Halladay (11-4)
It’s anyone’s ballgame with these 2 on the mound…
– *MELKY HITS FOR THE CYCLE!*
Despite three losses in Chicago, the Yankees managed to avoid the sweep and maintain first place in the AL East. The entire game was epic, with both clubs notching a combined 26 hits, 13 RBI’s, and 76 at bats.
The highlite of the game had to be Melky Cabrera hitting for the cycle, (the first cycle recorded by the Yankees since 1995.) The final checkmark Cabrera needed as the game came to a close was the dreaded triple… and with a shot to the wall in right, (in the 9th inning no less,) – he slid into third safely for the milestone…
Sabathia walked away with the win thanks to the rally – and New York avoided what would of been the first sweep since the All-Star break. Signal Hughes and ‘Mo to wrap things up, and you blow the whistle with another clockwork finish.
– *ON PAPER*
|Rodriguez, A, DH||4||1||1||0||1||0||2||.261|
|Cabrera, Me, CF||5||3||4||4||0||0||3||.292|
|Hairston, J, 3B||3||0||2||1||0||0||0||.259|
|a-Matsui, H, PH||0||0||0||0||1||0||0||.260|
|Molina, J, C||4||1||1||1||0||2||3||.254|
|Sabathia (W, 11-7)||7.0||10||5||5||0||5||2||3.95|
|Hughes, P (H, 9)||0.2||0||0||0||1||2||0||3.43|
|Rivera, Ma (S, 30)||1.1||1||0||0||1||1||0||2.01|
– *WHAT’S GOING ON TOMARROW*
CC Sabathia (10-7) vs. Mark Buehrle (11-4)
– *YANKEES LOSE 3RD TO SOX*
What can I say, the White Sox are hurting us… Not even A.J. could provoke a win, and Chicago ended this one 14-4 for thier 3rd straight victory in this 4 game series.
In comparison, the Yankees ended yesterday’s game with 8 total hits, while the Sox mustered up an impressive 17. Both clubs allowed 5 pitchers to make appearences, but obviously – the Yankees were the sorry saps who actually needed to. A few batters on our side had a multiple hit game, but it wasn’t enough to put a dent in the White Sox inflating score.
We need to change our tune tomarrow. Winning streaks can’t be random and seldom – this is the recipe for falling flat on our faces back into 2nd place. We can avoid the sweep if we get it together, and with CC on the mound tomarrow – we just may…
|Rodriguez, A, 3B||4||1||3||1||0||1||1||.262|
|Cabrera, Me, CF||4||0||0||0||0||1||4||.283|
|Hairston, J, LF||3||1||1||1||1||0||2||.255|
|Burnett, A (L, 10-5)||4.2||10||7||7||2||4||0||3.89|
– *WHAT’S GOING ON TOMARROW?*
CC Sabathia (6-4) vs. Mike Pelfrey (5-2)
MY PREDICTION: (4:54 EST) Yankees 6, Mets 4
PREDICTION RECORD: 5-2
– *BATS GET SWINGING*
It’s about time, right? We knew it would come around. A-Rod finally parked the ball that tied him with Reggie Jackson for 11th on the all-time homerun list. (Not to mention, overcame his slump and went 3 for 5 with 4 RBI’s…) Damon came up huge, Jeter came up huge, and it was an all-around encouraging game for Yankee fans to tune into. Here’s why:
JETER: 4 for 5, 4 runs
DAMON: 3 for 4, 4 RBI’s
RODRIGUEZ: 3 for 5, 2 runs, 4 RBI’s
GARDNER: 2 for 6, 1 run
RANSOM: 2 for 5, 2 runs, 2 RBI’s
And yes, you read correctly. Cody Ransom’s back, and he played exceptional. I think it’s all too appearant that he was on a mission this time around, and took advantage of his come-back by doing a little bit of everything. (Hits, runs, batting guys in…) – He showed us what he’s capable of, and our hitting had Lowe on the bench by the 4th. Didn’t see that one coming…
The only disappointments tonight were Pettitte and Teixeira. Teixeira went 0-5, and it was sad to see him slump in a game where the entire lineup was productive. (Note: Swisher didn’t do so hot either.) In Pettitte’s case, he kicked off the game great… At one point, the score was 8-1 and things were looking like an open-and-shut win… Than it happened. A hit here, a hit there, and the Braves actually climbed back into position to overcome the deficit. – Pettitte was yanked, our relief held it down – and long story short, we held on to that lead. (Thank god.) If we keep batting like this, the Mets are in for a heck of a series.